I hate babies. More than any other object I can think of. They are bad in every possible way for example, size. Small in magnitude, especially when compared to the absolutely heinous amount of fluid they produce and large relative to what matters which is a birth canal. Babies have no mercy, demanding ruthlessly even when you physically cannot provide any more. They stipulate to no end things like  money, energy, food, swinging them around in circles, sleep, simplified language, and money. But my contempt is rooted in more than just babies themselves. Everyone surrounding them becomes a selfless, providing idiot insistent on talking in ridiculously high voices, dealing with absurd amounts of stress, giving in to primitive manipulation tactics, and being lied to constantly.

Yet babies are essential to life. However, without biological drive, no one would want them. People, without their rational being blinded by their biological clocks, would see that logically babies have far more flaws than benefits and having a baby is practically the definition of irrational behavior. But babies demonstrate the change that is happening to the human race. Even having them requires convincing one’s self that the extraordinarily occasional coo or giggle will make the suffering worth it. That we can force ourselves to think irrationally. Children are given night lights so that they do not fear the dark. Evidence of how humans are trying to deny their biological instincts. Obviously we are more vulnerable in the dark and it is a survival tactic to feel fear. Even the way babies are born has changed. Quote from my Anthropology teacher Allison Rollins: "babies are removed in other ways now." Not only has birth changed in it’s meaning, it no long exists. Removal is the new form of birth, much more efficient, orderly, and less biological.  

Being an organic being is totally inconvenient and we are avoiding having to face the fact that our bodies are a part of nature rather than something designed to cater to us. All of adult life is spent trying to deny our biology. Deodorant masks our stench, fans and air fresheners allow us to pretend we don't poop, Botox make it so we don't age, boogers are an embarrassment, bad breath is unacceptable, women in labor have a blanket over their legs, we close our eyes when we swap saliva, and wear sock so our feet don’t smell. Kids totally disrupt this false reality we have created. Not only do they disrupt it, they are more grotesque than we are so we have to stare the disgustingness of biology in the face. To someone used to sitting on the pedestal of general cleanliness, vomit covering the world comes as a shock. I think that being reminded of how gross bodies are is not helpful or necessary. Ultimately, children are equivalent to Ribofunk for exposure to disturbing liquids. The reason that we don't want to deal with the fact that our bodies are organic is because it's a reminder of our mortality. Not having to feel our greasy hair is motivation in itself, but with silky smooth locks comes the ability to pretend that we can control our bodies, thus controlling our lives. If I can moisturize my skin to make it softer, perhaps when the time comes I'll figure out a way to extend my life. Perhaps it's this logic that makes not only the care for but alteration of our bodies so important. 

This summer I will be Nannying for four kids in Madina. On paper anyway. Really, I will be raising the offspring of people who have more important things to do like run and marinate lamb in 60 dollar bottles of wine. In a culture where success and cleanliness and organization are the top priorities, children simply do not fit in.  Figuring out how to deal with children (that's what they are; something to be dealt with) is intimidating and totally unstructured. People just punch 'em out and pray. Literally, there is no recommended method for raising kids. Don't beat them? Racking my brain, that is the only common knowledge about kids that I can think of. The reason that raising children is such a daunting task is because our priorities are so much higher. As hunter-gatherers, human success was survival. Now there are thousands of ways to assess success from self-esteem to morals to relationships to outlook. There is no way to raise a child completely successfully. 

The Diamond Age is about children, specifically a little girl, but the underlying theme seems to be that she just wants to be loved. But it is not enough to love a child. And you can't because it seems that their main goal in life is to make it difficult for you to do so. The young girl's book is an effort to standardize the raising of a child. In the future, it's possible the a simulation program will be available for the perfect childhood. The product will be children with high self-esteem, good money management, the ability to communicate, and no desire to kill anything. The book talks about pain, but not in depth. It's simply addressed and not explained. The assumption that all children experience enough pain is the cause of this. But is some pain required to grow up?  Some awkward mistakes necessary for genuine character to develop? And when would the simulation stop? Producing top-notch adults, the world would be a better place, right? Politics will surely sabotage this ultimately beneficial plan in the way that I see Madina being torn apart now. No one has more authority than anyone else to say what's the best parenting technique. Is television on Sunday mornings teaching children to be inactive? Should cookies be given at lunch or dinner if at all? Size zero women all over Madina not only cannot agree, but are fuming over other's methods and fear that a single glimpse of another lifestyle will ruin everything they've done thus far. 

I think the thing that really gets me about children is that they have to live abridged lives. It is unhealthy for them to see brutal violence, even if it's real. Sex cannot be addressed until 8th grade, and adults hide their mistakes from children. All of this in effort to give them the best. But if you cannot, why does hiding it from them equate to a solution? I want to forget that I sweat and focus on having full experiences and children have the opposite effect on one's life. Other than selfishness, specifically the desire to live for myself and in the way that I want, I don't want to deal with children because of the shakiness and uncertainty surrounding what's healthy for a child, the lack of knowledge about the effects of how children are treated, and the idea of being responsible for someone else's development. With no real guide other than unsupported opinions and gut feelings, raising children is all about the luck of the draw and I'm not going to risk getting the short stick.